When the woman wears the pants

Relationships between masculine men and feminine women often seem like a struggle between aliens from different planets. Masculine strength is all about confidence -having a clear vision of your life. If a man is unsure of himself, it is difficult for a woman to trust him as a life partner. She senses his lack of masculine energy and is not attracted to him.

When a man feels like a failure in terms of his purpose, he cannot fully be in relationship. He sees his wife as demanding and hides in his cave. Only when he aligns himself with his purpose (masculine energy), does he feel whole or complete. And only then, is he able to be fully present in relationship.

If a woman’s career is more important to her than his is to him, she begins to loose trust in him. The woman’s masculine energy begins to repel the masculine energy in her man. Sexual passion is maintained, I believe, by this notion of sexual polarity. The attraction between positive and negative - masculine and feminine energies - opposites attract.

A common situation I see in my practice is this. Women are required more and more to operate out of their masculine energy. Men (because of unresolved father issues) are afraid of their masculine energy. They have perhaps experienced the abuse of power and do not want to be “that kind of man”.

So, while there is sexual attraction initially, sexual polarity decreases over time. So, when the woman wears the pants, neither partner  gets the love they need.

In the past, when women were not so required to act like men, the feminine was honored in a way we just don’t see today. As women have had to take on more and more masculine characteristics to make it in a man’s world, both men and women have lost respect for the feminine.

Once men are able to reclaim their masculine core, they can  then begin to relieve women of  their obligation to be in their masculine  energy and relax into what they so long for – to relax into their feminine.

And so, in order to restore passion to our intimate relationships, both sexes must ease into their authentic selves.