Isn’t that a line from an old song?
I see a lot of women who are unhappy in their marriage. The men are unhappy because the women they love are so unhappy with them.
Little girls are socialized to accommodate and so they lose their voice. Boys learn to be tough and so they lose their hearts. Then, they grow up and marry each other, without knowing how to effectively listen or how to ask for what they need and want.
What happens in couple counselling is that together, we name what is true about the relationship with a view to deciding if the relationship can be worked on.
If the couple decides that it is salvageable, then they learn new relationship skills to repair the distance and to rebuild a deeper and more intimate connection.
Women learn to request, not complain.
Men learn to listen with love and kindness.